Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
