these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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