we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
