She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
