either way he was missing a nipple.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
