So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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