She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
So vagazzling was a success
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
