Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My nipple is on Facebook.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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