you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
