hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
