Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
