I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize