after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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