the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
