Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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