Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize