they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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