i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I deserve this hangover.
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