If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
