this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize