Do you still have your period?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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