ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
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