Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
