do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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