i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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