Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
