I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
