I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
