Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
