so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
