I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
