You're so nebulous sometimes
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Randomize