Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
