Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
