mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
