Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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