so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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