drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Panties = found
Randomize
