I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize