i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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