go do what you do best...puke behind churches
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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