is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
