What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i was born a porn star she said
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
The adults are the big ones right?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
