Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
