Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
