He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
you win again, gameday.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
