I want to have your abortion
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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