Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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