You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
