I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
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