Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
