i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
