Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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