Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
