I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Randomize
