Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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