if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
