whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize
