I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
