I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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